Funny Phrases From the Road

How many huckleberries does it take to kill a cow?

explained: (not technically from this road, but heard in a McDonalds near Hagerstown)  Several men speaking freely across the dining area. One says, huckleberries are poisonous.  The other asked; How many…

A man’s gotta love a woman who smells like bacon.

   explained: Jane helped Gordon making a breakfast feast including hash-browns, eggs, and bacon.  The large grill was really rolling under his restaurant-trained hands.  After preparing and eating the meal we changed out of pajamas for the day. That night, unfolding those PJ’s and getting ready for bed…my Jane smelled like bacon.  We both roared with laughter when I told her with a lear.

You don’t need a map to get to Sackville, you just go straight.

explained: While driving on Provincial Highway 1 in New Brunswick, Canada we stopped for coffee and directions.  After filling the thirsty 4Runner I found the coffee was free.  No Mega-store selection with the drowning gulp sizes, just a simple pot, small styrofoam cups and creamer in the fridge.  Jane asked about maps.  Oh, the nice grey-haired man said; you don’t need a map to get to Sackville, you just go straight.  And, infact you do.  Highway 1 runs right into 2, the Trans-Canada Highway which then runs straight into Sackville, New Brunswick home of the prestigious Mount Allison College, where Anne is teaching.

Bring a flashlight, you don’t want to surprise a skunk.

explained: pretty much self-explanatory, heard from a resident camper at New River Provincial Park, in New Brunswick

We had some good maps here; seems they are are torn out of the guidebooks.

ezplained: Heard after chasing the elusive “?” information symbol for miles to the end of a peninsula at Black Harbor, a helpful employee seeks maps in the little guidebook from one of those big racks of tourist pamphlets.

I feel like I have someone else’s teeth in my mouth.

explained: David after biting his tongue and/or cheek for the umpteenth time

You two must really like each other, if my wife and I did this we’d be at fisticuffs.

explained: Jimmie’s reaction upon stepping into the Tramper for a tour at Tsali Recreation Area Mt Biking trailhead, North Carolina

I have lost control of my batter

explained: Jane while making latkes for breakfast in Hayesville, NC

-David

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