An Open Letter To The Sunshine State

Dear Florida,

Thank you for a very nice two weeks. making-a-map-pictureYour weather was very nice. We met some very nice people. We were happy to swim in warm water.

You reminded me, with every palm tree, citrus stand and tacky souvenir shop, of my many trips to Florida as a young person. Thank you for that.

news feature_manatee_season_05_kws_1Also, I saw my first ever manatee. And an alligator that wasn’t in some sad little pen.

But, the most important thing that you have done and will, I hope, continue to do is take care of Alex and Daria and Zealen. I love that little family. Keep them safe.

Wilderness-Trail-webIf I might make what I feel to be constructive criticism, you really need some hills. And dirt. Some rocks maybe. Hiking and mountain biking would be so, so much more fun if you did.

I have to say that if I were a poor person, I would definitely want to live in Florida. I’m sure that being poor is a daunting challenge wherever you live, but in Florida, you hardly need any clothes. Baltimore poor folks have to somehow find a complete wardrobe. Summer clothes, yes, but also clothes for winter. Coats, hats, scarves, gloves, sweaters. Real shoes. Long pants.

Florida poor folks have only to outfit themselves with a pair of swim trunks, two pair of flip-flops from the Dollar store and a 4-pack of Hanes wife-beater undershirts. Male and female. And they are good for the whole year! 

floridagunAlso, you can carry your gun everywhere you go and shoot anything that moves,  for your supper. 

Again, thank you for showing us a good time.

Sincerely, 

Jane

 

2 responses to “An Open Letter To The Sunshine State

  1. LOL…..very entertaining post. Love how you turned FL into a gun. Folks in AZ open carry regularly. We saw Javelinas around our campsite last night!

    • Thanks, Ingrid!
      Javelinas! They’re creepy…
      I wasn’t the artist who created the “Florida gun”. Found it on the internet with no credit as to the person who made it.

      – Jane

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